Cyber Connections Cafe\’

Real Stories of People Riding the Internet Wave

Is the Proof in the Profile?

Posted by Jeanette Juryea on August 26, 2006

It always starts with a profile. You browse, you read, and if you like it, you connect. But how much does a profile really tell you about a person? Well, some profiles are more complete than others, but I don’t think any really get to the heart of things. A case in point:

I read Stefan’s profile, and it looked promising. Well-educated, a world traveler, a chef – a lot of great qualities. The phone call went well, so we met. Chemistry right away – he was cute and funny and a great conversationalist. Our first kiss was natural, none of that awkward feeling. Several dates later, things were buzzing along great!

And then we were talking on the phone one day. I don’t remember what it was about. But all of a sudden, Stefan’s ranting – Jews, gays, blacks, Hispanics, Muslims… His hatred was non-discriminatory, I’ll give him that! Anyone that wasn’t like him – off with their heads!

Well, I was stunned. I would have never guessed from his profile or our other dates that this homophobic racist existed. Since I have no room in my life for that sort of prejudice, I told him where to go, and that was that!

So how helpful is a profile? How much can you trust it? Do people lie on purpose, or are they lying to themselves when they fill them out? And do we date the actual profile, or the fantasy we impose upon the profile?

How about you out there? Ever have a date that looked good on paper, but went up in flames in person? Funny, sad, scary – let’s hear it!

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