Cyber Connections Cafe\’

Real Stories of People Riding the Internet Wave

Widower finds love: Strange Forces at Work (Andrea’s Soulmate)

Posted by Jeanette Juryea on August 26, 2006

Alan was a 30 year old widower. I was an overworked nurse, whose options for meeting men were running out. I worked in a hospital with mostly women. I ran a support group for battered women. I belonged to a gym that was for women. It wasn’t looking too good for me in the dating department. I had had multiple bad relationships — many of which noncompatibility was the issue.

But online dating seemed scary to me. It took me awhile to consider it. My own mother had stated to me don’t meet anyone in a bar or online. You hear those horrible stories on the television and in the newspapers. My parents and my brother and his wife had such happy relationships and both couples met early on in college. That isn’t the norm anymore. Marriage seems to be happening later in life. We can actually take the time now to try and figure out who we are and want we want first. I just had felt strange because the marriage deal didn’t happen for me early as it had for others in my family.

So I finally took the plunge in September of 2003, and I was on 3 online dating services at one time. I emailed back and forth to different people and had dated one man from the internet before Alan came into my life, in December 2003. His conversation didn’t revolve around sex and actually had intellectual content to it. Someone I could communicate with and actually understood me. Alan had some experiences with online dating and had dated some women prior to meeting me. His wife Laura had passed away from a rare form of cancer and he was trying to move on with his life, as hard as that was for him. Her dying wish was for him to find someone else and be happy. That’s how wonderful and selfless she was.

Alan and I hit it off from the start. He was very intelligent and interesting to be with. He helped me to forget some of what I was dealing with working at the hospital and I was helping him to try to live life again. We both knew that life was short. Not too many people our age would put focus on that, but through our experiences we did. We had a lot in common. We both graduated from the same high school. He was in my brother’s class and I was in his brother’s. None of us knew each other, but we had similar friends. So did our parents.

Things got stranger. His wife had ended up in hospice – the same hospice I later worked for! It had been a dream of mine to be a hospice nurse even before I met Alan. He was very supportive in that endeavor. I came to know and work with people that knew and knew of Laura and Alan. I found out that Laura was admitted to hospice on my birthday and died on my Grandpa’s birthday. These things are very special to me and make me feel that there exist other forces that we can’t explain. Alan is my soulmate. He is the male counterpart to me. I am very lucky and would definitely suggest online dating to people. It worked for Alan and I.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: